School Friends and Its Ordeals
Summer break is almost over and another semester is about to welcome students back to school. I just had my graduation two months ago, but I sure missed going to school, especially that exciting feeling on the first day. Even though I spent six years in elementary, four years in high school and eight years in college I still haven’t mastered the art of being a student. Yet, my life in classrooms has taught me how to face different kinds of people.
School is a place where you would meet new people. Even if they are old friends with the same faces you had last semester there will always be something new to discover about them. Some of those people would most likely become your buddies who will help you learn new things in life.
This means that besides buying new school supplies, finding the most convenient dormitory or getting ready for academics, meeting people at school and socializing with them is one detail about being a student that must be prepared of.
It is important to know that along the school journey with chosen school friends there will be instances wherein friendship is tested by a simple group project. As a Mass Communication student, I had to do projects with a team, and group projects absolutely did put me in situations of dealing with different kinds of people. One of which is having to resolve a fight or misunderstandings over a school project. Sadly, most of them ended with a “friendship break-up”.
Choosing the right friends at school and working with them is a decision a student should be careful of. In my experience whenever we were given group work it was a thing for my classmates to pick their closest friends among the class and form a team. Then, the next story you hear would be their disputes leaving their project in a mishmash. I have watched them many times trying so hard to deal with their group issues while failing their project. As I listen to their woes I have come up with a list that factors the “group problem” based on my observation.
The common factors which cause this problem start from the issues of the heart. (Proverbs 4:23)
Everybody was born selfish and proud by nature. Usually, we want to insist on our own ways and we tend to overlook other's suggestions or even feelings. We tend to make ourselves the most important person among the rest.
Next to selfishness and pride is lack of communication. (Ephesians 4:31)
This is usually the main factor that causes any kind of relationship break-up. When girls got pissed off, their tendency is to clam up with their mouths tightly closed and their ears shut off accepting no apology or explanation from the other party. But when boys got offended, most of them would just have to get loud to show they are ireful. Out of immaturity, we refuse to listen. Without proper communication, nothing would be resolved and the problem would only be intensified.
Another factor is failing to do the work as a team. (Philippians 2:3-4)
This is the most common reason why most of my classmates couldn’t get along with their groupmates. They think their ideas are better than the rest, that only their ideas should be considered. At times there will be a member of the team who would think that working alone is good enough than working with a group. As a result, they would refuse to contribute to the benefit of the whole team. There would also be times when they would not be very mindful of others’ interests. Some would even walk away when they didn’t get their way, not caring about the unfinished task. If none of the team would give way, they would all end up doing the work as an individual, which never worked by the way.
You’ve probably been in a situation where you have had to endure harsh comments from one of your groupmates. I have. During my early years in college, I had a groupmate who would not help with the project while the others were working on it, and then when the output was complete that person would only criticize it. The situation gets even more challenging to face when one of the team edited your idea and claimed it as his/hers. You may have also been upset for putting up all your effort to create an idea only to find out that your groupmate did not include any of it on the final output. Such an attitude is called disrespectful which also factors the cause of the ruined friendship.
The most awful factor I would put on the list would be allowing yourself to hate a friend, which you thought you would never do until you worked together on a group project. (Colossians 3:13-14)
Here is really where the friendship is put to test. It is a decision to make whether you would hate a friend for the sake of a school project, or you would rather forbear such offenses for the sake of the friendship. It will not be an easy decision when you are pressured and pushed to your limits. I also had those moments saying the lines, “I’ve had enough of it” or “That’s more than what I can take”. But when you give in to your feelings of hating a friend, it would be hard to find peace in your heart, and it may be difficult for you to be happy with the group project your team is working on.
Whatever happens between you and your groupmates, at the end of the day the teacher will grade your work as a team. My professor once said, "Work with your friends and you'll end up being enemies. Work with your enemies and you'll end up being friends."
With another year of challenges, having friends around is very handy in times of need. That is why choosing your buddies at school carefully is very important, because they are the ones who would help you with your success, or would bring you struggles to make things harder for you. You might not be able to avoid those “problem-maker” groupmates. That is okay. I have learned to be forgiving to them in a hard way.
In our journey, not only as a student but also as a person who lives in a social world, we will encounter people who would unsparingly test our patience and temper. I had that kind of person even in my circle of school friends. When experiencing this kind of people it would be very helpful to evaluate what is more important. Whether material things over friendship, self over others, contempt over kindness, or selfish ambition over character, whatever it is that you value the most would reflect on how you treat others.
Guess what I’ve found out. You will also have the same encounters with people when you enter the workforce. Having to experience different kinds of people, I am still learning that choosing your group of friends will always have an effect on you and on your performance. Mastering the skill of being able to adapt to people’s different kinds of attitude seems to be a long process of learning.
I am glad to have my school friends and we are still friends outside the college. We may not be classmates anymore, but after what we have gone through in accomplishing our endeavors at school we have learned to embrace each other’s flaws that until today we can still find reasons to laugh together.
It is important to know that along the school journey with chosen school friends there will be instances wherein friendship is tested by a simple group project. As a Mass Communication student, I had to do projects with a team, and group projects absolutely did put me in situations of dealing with different kinds of people. One of which is having to resolve a fight or misunderstandings over a school project. Sadly, most of them ended with a “friendship break-up”.
Choosing the right friends at school and working with them is a decision a student should be careful of. In my experience whenever we were given group work it was a thing for my classmates to pick their closest friends among the class and form a team. Then, the next story you hear would be their disputes leaving their project in a mishmash. I have watched them many times trying so hard to deal with their group issues while failing their project. As I listen to their woes I have come up with a list that factors the “group problem” based on my observation.
The common factors which cause this problem start from the issues of the heart. (Proverbs 4:23)
Everybody was born selfish and proud by nature. Usually, we want to insist on our own ways and we tend to overlook other's suggestions or even feelings. We tend to make ourselves the most important person among the rest.
Next to selfishness and pride is lack of communication. (Ephesians 4:31)
This is usually the main factor that causes any kind of relationship break-up. When girls got pissed off, their tendency is to clam up with their mouths tightly closed and their ears shut off accepting no apology or explanation from the other party. But when boys got offended, most of them would just have to get loud to show they are ireful. Out of immaturity, we refuse to listen. Without proper communication, nothing would be resolved and the problem would only be intensified.
Another factor is failing to do the work as a team. (Philippians 2:3-4)
This is the most common reason why most of my classmates couldn’t get along with their groupmates. They think their ideas are better than the rest, that only their ideas should be considered. At times there will be a member of the team who would think that working alone is good enough than working with a group. As a result, they would refuse to contribute to the benefit of the whole team. There would also be times when they would not be very mindful of others’ interests. Some would even walk away when they didn’t get their way, not caring about the unfinished task. If none of the team would give way, they would all end up doing the work as an individual, which never worked by the way.
You’ve probably been in a situation where you have had to endure harsh comments from one of your groupmates. I have. During my early years in college, I had a groupmate who would not help with the project while the others were working on it, and then when the output was complete that person would only criticize it. The situation gets even more challenging to face when one of the team edited your idea and claimed it as his/hers. You may have also been upset for putting up all your effort to create an idea only to find out that your groupmate did not include any of it on the final output. Such an attitude is called disrespectful which also factors the cause of the ruined friendship.
The most awful factor I would put on the list would be allowing yourself to hate a friend, which you thought you would never do until you worked together on a group project. (Colossians 3:13-14)
Here is really where the friendship is put to test. It is a decision to make whether you would hate a friend for the sake of a school project, or you would rather forbear such offenses for the sake of the friendship. It will not be an easy decision when you are pressured and pushed to your limits. I also had those moments saying the lines, “I’ve had enough of it” or “That’s more than what I can take”. But when you give in to your feelings of hating a friend, it would be hard to find peace in your heart, and it may be difficult for you to be happy with the group project your team is working on.
Whatever happens between you and your groupmates, at the end of the day the teacher will grade your work as a team. My professor once said, "Work with your friends and you'll end up being enemies. Work with your enemies and you'll end up being friends."
With another year of challenges, having friends around is very handy in times of need. That is why choosing your buddies at school carefully is very important, because they are the ones who would help you with your success, or would bring you struggles to make things harder for you. You might not be able to avoid those “problem-maker” groupmates. That is okay. I have learned to be forgiving to them in a hard way.
In our journey, not only as a student but also as a person who lives in a social world, we will encounter people who would unsparingly test our patience and temper. I had that kind of person even in my circle of school friends. When experiencing this kind of people it would be very helpful to evaluate what is more important. Whether material things over friendship, self over others, contempt over kindness, or selfish ambition over character, whatever it is that you value the most would reflect on how you treat others.
Guess what I’ve found out. You will also have the same encounters with people when you enter the workforce. Having to experience different kinds of people, I am still learning that choosing your group of friends will always have an effect on you and on your performance. Mastering the skill of being able to adapt to people’s different kinds of attitude seems to be a long process of learning.
I am glad to have my school friends and we are still friends outside the college. We may not be classmates anymore, but after what we have gone through in accomplishing our endeavors at school we have learned to embrace each other’s flaws that until today we can still find reasons to laugh together.
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| Thesis mates at Floridablanca, Pampanga "Mahampat Productions" 2017 |
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