Providence for 28 years

Financial freedom. I thought getting a high-paying job will give you financial freedom. I thought having financial freedom will bring you an easy life.

Coming from a not-so-rich family, I never tasted the luxuries in this world. Growing up, my parents showed me the hard life. I learned to work hard to survive. With the inflation painfully increasing the cost of living, I had to skip many meals to save my allowance for tomorrow.

I simply thought that earning more will solve many financial problems. Reality check: I know a lot of people with a good-paying job who are in a financial crisis. Not even doing multiple jobs could help ease their financial worries.

When I had my first job and my salary was not enough, there was this pressure in me to find a better job. It tempts me to rely on my own capability to provide for my needs. There were times I would watch the sun go down with a vague sense of letdown thinking of my little to no savings.

But it was because of my empty pockets that I saw God’s providential care for me all these years.

Reading the words of Christ to His disciples in Luke 12:22-31, I remembered how God sustained me throughout the years. Help comes in an unexpected way every time I have a need. I'm amazed at how God works when people I've never met would come to my aid during my desperate moments. He provided me clothes and shelter wherever I go. He knows when I’m hungry and feeds me without the need of my money. He sends me people who have a good heart to take care of me when I’m away from home. He gave me strength in my journeys and protection until I return home.

There was not a day that my Heavenly Father took me for granted. He always carries me through when I’m lacking. He not only met my financial needs but also filled me with spiritual blessings. He is my financial security when I’m full and when I’m empty.    

Realizing that it wasn’t my job that provides for me, I want a life that is more than just earning money. I want a life that is more than just aiming for financial freedom. I don't want to live a life only thinking of how to pay for my monthly dues. There is, indeed, no thankfulness and contentment in worrying.

I, then, realized how self-centered my prayer life has been. When I have my focus on my needs, my prayer would be all about my expenses. But when I started dwelling my thoughts on God's faithfulness, my prayer turned into praises. Refreshed by the Song of David in Psalm 65:9-13, I began to pray more of God's provision for others. Letting go of my worries and entrusting God my finances, I've become more able to give than to receive. 

I still don’t earn much. But I have a joy that runs over. And today, I'm counting 28 years of rejoicing in God’s unfailing goodness to supply beyond all my needs.